The Unspoken Rules of Guy’s Toilets

Every guy will know that there are certain things that you do and most importantly DO NOT DO whilst using public toilets.

This is something that seems to be a natural instinct for most guys but there are those who haven’t yet grasped the etiquette of a guy’s toilet.

I decided to create a list of The Unspoken Rules of Guy’s Toilets.

  • Never use the middle urinal

It is becoming more and more frequent that public toilets have a small amount of urinals available and most guys know that using the middle urinal just causes an uncomfortable feeling throughout the toilet. Always make sure that there is an equidistance space between you and the other guys in the toilet.

  • Never stand next to someone

Similar to the first rule, if there are available urinals then use them! Do not stand next to a guy when there are countless available urinals. It’s creepy and creates and undesired tension.

  • Noise pollution

Any noise being heard in public toilets is not acceptable or desired! No ‘deep sighs of relief’ when peeing or no passing wind when in a cubicle. No one wants to hear it!

  • No unnecessary touching

Never touch another guy when he is trying to pee! Not even if you have known them since birth! A shoulder grab or even an ass smack is just distracting for the guy peeing and unwanted!

  • Avoid speaking

Swift in and out motion! Do not start up a conversation about the weather, the fit girl by the bar – no speaking whatsoever! If you and your friend happen to go to the toilet at the same time, never by any means wait for your friend. Go out of the toilet and back to your seat.

  • Never try for a sneak peek

Self-explanatory really. Never try to peer over the cubicle and look, it is extremely creepy and, for obvious reasons, creates an uneasy and awkward atmosphere that is not needed in an already awkward moment.

  • Never make eye contact!

Never, and I mean never, make eye contact with another guy in the toilet. Guys do not need to smile or say hello when coming in and out of a toilet never mind when doing their business. If they want to talk they will upon leaving. Eye contact is a definite no no. It implies that you know what they have done which people don’t need to know.


This list will probably be edited every now and again as more and more rules come to the surface but what I will say for now is:

Go in, do your business, wash your hands and leave, nothing more, nothing less.


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